you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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