just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You made me cry and you don't even care
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
