i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
