Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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