She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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