i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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