did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
