Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
