I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The power of my boobs compel you
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
