I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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