i just wanna soil my oats bro
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
