I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
