no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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