Me too!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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