so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
