i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
