windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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