Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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