I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
