Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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