I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
