i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
