Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize