Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
