if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
