Will you blow on my dice?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
