I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
