I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize