I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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