Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
