covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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