Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize