well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
