you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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