Porn is love you can see.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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