I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize