go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
