Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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