I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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