Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
