i think i have two assholes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
