ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
