If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
