so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
