I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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