just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize