I just made out with a guy for $7.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have fence marks all over my body
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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