I have demons in me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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