its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
