Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Life is so much better after having sex.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize