Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
