So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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