Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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