that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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