One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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