Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
