You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
