I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Boobs are out for the taking
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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