dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
