if i died would you start the facebook group?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
