So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
