You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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