i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
