I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
