Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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