you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
